oh how i miss....

the good times we had together. theres a part of me that will always love and miss you no matter what happens you repetively say how people dont appreciate or care about you i was never the one to take you for granted, hurting you was never on my agenda but then again you say i was too nice, too much of a good boy i wanted to be different from the other guys who were mean and didnt treat u the way you deserved but things are over and i gave up on the relationship cuhz ill never truly understand how you feel inside since you never feel like sharing..im done. people always come up and ask me are you okay how are you and symone? you guys still friends? im like yea of course. we talk all the time. i still love her and they say then why does she walk around passing you and actin as if you dont exist and i say idk. why do you do that? why cant you just give me a hug on a daily basis ? ask how im doing? instead of makin faces at me like im stupid or i did something bad to you. and you still insist on takin my food everyday and gettin mad and callin me an ass when i dont give you any. it hurts me when you say things like that. it shows how much you actually appreciate me :( hhhhh but i still stick around and i dont know why. my mind wont let me let go of you and how handful of happiness you splashed me with. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE? am i moving towards the right direction? am i surroundin myself with good people? i need this semester to be over so i can let go of that stress and really allow me to relax and regain my confidence to make it into the next stage of my life so God help me. i pray my family, friends especially Symone who needs guidance in her life
To be continued................

I Want You..

cuhz i need you more than you understand

when i was loved....

theres was nobody who loved me more than you :) but after reading old txt or chats i realized i didn't accept you for you and forced to many changes to try a make what i thought was the perfect girl for me i was actin selfish and i deserved what i got a broken heart. it was great while it lasted. but now i understand why u were not 100% happy or feeling like the real you. ive moved on but slow days like this i really miss all the things we used to do i miss ur kisses and hugs and late night phone calls and scootering to ur house and movies and everything you made me really happy those past two months thank you for everything and ur family was amazing they were really fun and accepting of me its crazy cuhz you once said "i'm your biggest fan i'll follow you until you love me." and now ii feel thats me doing the following part of me tells me i need to just forget you but part say i know what i felt for you was real and i still feel the same way but damm its hard you cant even just hangout with me to be just friends. ur presence in my life is what i miss most, ive starting to regain my faith in god and i will pray for us that if we cant be a couple we can be the bestest of friends til the end <3 lets get crunk foo hahaha i cant wait til im 18! but hey i hope you read this and not get irritated of mad or annoyed im just tryna share my feelings right when i feell its needs to come out i just want you to understand which is something that you didnt always allow me to do ITS ALL LOVE NO HATE IN OUR FRIENDSHIP okkkkkk um yeaa if you dont hate me u should surprise me with a nice phone call one of these days ;)
hey its kinda weird but im gunna make a scrapbook cuhz i never wanna forget you imma show my kids when im old that i dated a hot ass black chick lol :P

:)

what can i say yesterday was a great day wit da boys went to korean bbq then gabes for nba 2k9 where dom put up his hair again mark for 30 bucks but mark lost -_- then went to rite aid so for dam ice cream and stopped by bk for 2 large fries then back to gabes.. everyone decided to leave so it was just me mark gabe and devin so we headed to amc to see book of eli and mark knocked the fuck out

??

im feelin better now cuhz ive moved on but theres still questions.. ive been trying my best to keep our friendship alive but it always seems to me that ur angry, annoyed, pissed. i cant even say a joke to make you laugh or have a normal conversation

hmmm......